Once upon a time there was a curious kid, he lived with his amazing grandma and grandad.
One day his grandad took him to a mysterious place on the amazing Earth. Suddenly the grandad pulled out a box which had black on the outside. When he opened the box he saw a wand with a soft red clock which was very soft, as soft as a pillow. Then he saw a silvery wand so his grandad pulled the wand out and the grandad did the hardest blow of his life, it was like he was blowing a car up and so his grandson wanted to have a go so the granddad said "yes."
When the grandson he blew in it, he took a breath breath and let it out but only a little speck came out; it was as small as an ant.
After that his grandad blew harder so he blew harder and moved closer. Suddenly he fell and he looked at the wand and pulled it in a strange way. He saw it was broken and reformed it and made it into a star and gave it to his granddad. His granddad took a blow and out came a star. Then he shaped a bunny.
They lived happily ever after. And that's how different shaped clouds were invented.
The End
I like how you started your writing with at least one paragraph change.
ReplyDeleteHave you edited your work, Roman?
Also do you think you have succeeded in our WALT and success criteria? I don't see any language features.